Archive: Feb 2017

IVF limbo

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If this was the dance version, then it would involve trying to limbo under the low bar with a needle sticking out your gut, whilst simultaneously shoving folic acid and omega 3 fish oils in your gob.

What it actually means is nature is a bitch and I’m stuck in limbo waiting for everything to start. It’s the first time in 4 years I actually want my period to show up, but it hasn’t. And no, there’s no chance before you ask. You can’t even do that!

So my well planned out schedule is in the bin and I have no idea what this week holds. If you have a meeting with me, prepare for it to be moved last minute…

I stumbled across a of blog post today while googling IVF limbo, The Loneliness of Infertility – Anna Hecker describes just how much of your entire life this effects. I looked the author up on Twitter, nice to see she got her happy ending.

How a photograph can break your heart.

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Today began with a relaxing acupuncture session and ended with a drive home sobbing into the steering wheel.

A photograph broke my heart today. Sound a bit dramatic?

It was just a photograph of children playing.
All my close friends children together.
The children that were bumps when I had a bump.
The children that are missing another playmate.
Our missing little girl.
I’m trying not to live in the past really I am, and I am hopeful for the future.
But today that photograph and the sudden reality that our embryo transfer will fall around what would have been my little girls 1st birthday, well that just broke me a tiny bit.

Hope

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It’s been a week of really good news for friends and I’m over the moon.

One friend is finally on the way to the help she needs for endometriosis, and another is being referred for IVF after an incredible year of guts and determination. I’m so proud of both of them for the women they are, and so grateful for their friendship.

Is it just me or does 2017 feel better? Or maybe I’m better.

I’m definitely better.

Whatever it is, there’s hope now, and a lot of it. Despite Trump.


So quick update for you. We have 6 embryos in the freezer and our consultant has said they are all of a really good quality. Last Tuesday I went in for the scratch (you’ll have to Google that, I still can’t bring myself to describe it, and yes it really bloody hurt) and now we’re just waiting for nature to take its course this month – should be Friday 24th.

The scratch was completely new to me as we didn’t have this on the first failed round. It’s generally used for people who’ve experienced unsuccessful IVF cycles, despite good quality embryos having been transferred. The process triggers a repair reaction, making the lining of the womb more receptive to the embryo implantation, which in theory should increase the chance of pregnancy.

I plan to get as much work completed this week as is humanly possible and I have 2 networking events to attend which I’m really looking forward to. I’ve been able to roughly work out when I’ll be off work on the two week wait and keep my diary clear. After the 24th, my diary becomes a daily planning exercise again!

I’ll need to go in for a baseline scan between day 1 & 3 of the cycle, and then again on day 9. After that it could be every other day or daily scans until they are ready to transfer the embryos.

It would be incredible if all 6 embryos make it past defrosting and then another 2 days of growing, getting them to day 5 blastocyst embryos. The likelihood of that is slim as around 10/12% will die after being defrosted.

If that’s not possible, then the result we’re looking for is 4 to make it to day 5. Our consultant has already advised us they will transfer 2 again this time, and then we can re-freeze the remaining 2.

Embryos, much to our surprise, are not like chicken from the freezer.

I’m excited to start, but I am so busy this week that the time is going to fly by!

Confidence

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2016 drained me of my confidence.

I went from someone who’s not afraid to stand up and speak to a room full of people, to someone who struggled to leave the studio for a networking meeting. As the main salesperson or face” of the agency, this was always going to cause problems.

I’m lucky to have a great business partner and team, so despite these setbacks, the business still did well last year. But it didn’t flourish and it didn’t grow.

I accept that I took the time I needed to heal and that was the right thing to do but, by 2017 I was ready to start making an impact again.

A good friend had been asked to join a Mastermind group and suggested I become part of it to.

A Mastermind is a small group of highly motivated people (around 6), all who are looking to support, encourage and help each other improve. The group offers each other suggestions and support for both business and personal issues, anything you are willing to share, everything is in confidence.

Andy Lopata explains this in great detail here.

Last Thursday I took part in the first Mastermind session of the year.

I came away from the meeting with great suggestions of how to improve a business issue I’ve had, and a clear plan of action for the book I’m going to write. I met 2 new contacts who are both incredibly inspiring and, I was able to share my expertise and offer them advice in return.

More importantly, I came away believing in myself again, and that feels really good.

Icelandic Adventure

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I’ve not blogged for a whole 16 days and I’ve missed it.

I was going to update while we were away but, in the end it I thought it would remind me of what was coming next or what we’ve already been through. Its been really nice to just feel normal. No medication, no clinic visits. Just us having a normal life and fun on holiday.

We’ve been away to Iceland for 5 nights. We tend to go away this time of year as it fits well around Lee’s wedding photography business. He’s swamped from March – October time so we take advantage of long haul sunshine.

Unfortunately we’re currently quite limited on where we can travel too that’s warm right now with the Zika virus so widespread. If we took the risk to travel to an affected area, then our IVF treatment would be delayed.

The clinic’s current advice is here.

Travellers returning from affected areas should consider the following guidance to minimise the risk of Zika virus transmission:

  • Female traveller, symptomatic or asymptomatic, should not try to conceive naturally, donate gametes or proceed with fertility treatment for 8 weeks.
  • Male traveller, symptomatic or asymptomatic, should not try to conceive naturally, donate gametes or proceed with fertility treatment for 6 months.

Anyway, seeing the Northern Lights has always been on our bucket lists, so we decided to embrace the cold instead!

Iceland is the most magical place, I’ve never seen scenery like it in my life. We were so very luck to see the Northern Lights on our first night, well morning actually. Our amazing Hotel Ranga had a lights wake up call, and rang us at 5.40am.

In 3 days we took a Golden Circle tour with Valdi from Southcoast Adventure taking in the sights of Gullfoss waterfall, the famous Geysir which all other geysers are named after and walked round Thingvellir National Park. We fell off a snowmobile on top of Katla, an active volcano that is likely to erupt soon. The falling off bit wasn’t one of my holiday highlights!

Two nights at a fab Airbnb in Reykjavik exploring, eating and (amazingly) drinking was so much fun, and the Blue Lagoon was the perfect way to end a trip of a lifetime.

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