Today I am tired. Mentally and physically tired.

Am I allowed to say that not being a parent? Sometimes I’m not sure. I’m actually scared to tell my friends how tired I because I’m sure they just won’t believe me.

I don’t sleep well at the best of times, and something I’m taking is adding to that, probably the Doxycycline steroid as a nurse mentioned it can cause insomnia. Cheers.

Today I had the gift of no appointments and no trips into London. A whole day at the office to catch up. I had to explain my situation to a couple more clients today as I still can’t commit to meetings next week. I’m still blown away at how understanding everyone is being.

So on Sunday I said I’d explain about “the trigger” injection, in my case Pregnyl. This is the last injection that you take before they collect your eggs, and it’s taken 2 days before at a very precise time. At the moment the current plan is to trigger me on Saturday evening, but that can change depending on how the next few days go.

Its my birthday tomorrow. I’ll be at the clinic for another progress scan in the morning and then home for injections in the evening. I know how to celebrate don’t I? Heading to the new Steak & Honour restaurant early Friday evening to stuff our faces instead (I mean burgers are protein so that’s totally fine).

On Monday 16th January 4.30-5.30pm there’s a House of Commons debate: IVF and other NHS fertility services.

If you head on over to the Facebook Page, you can share your experiences and thoughts on the decommissioning of IVF and other NHS fertility services.

Is it fair that IVF access should be determined by a series of local rationing and budgetary decisions or is it a medical entitlement that should be available to all?

No its not fair.

Yes it is a medical entitlement.

Yes it should be available to all.

It too late for us. Our own IVF treatment is self funded and desperately expensive. We were refused NHS funding as one test level came back too high, despite finding out later that stress levels can cause this test to be high. The test had to be taken at a clinic where I had previously miscarried, not surprising my stress levels were high.

I love the NHS, I really believe its one of the best things about this country, but it is failing us with infertility problems. It is failing hard working tax payers that need help.

My incredibly brave friend wrote this piece today and summed up what we’ve thought a million times over, so beautifully. I am so proud of her:

“My husband and I are average people, average people in average jobs, we live in an average 3 bed semi and commute to our average office work. We don’t live a glamorous lifestyle with endless disposable income. We work 9-5 pay our taxes etc etc. We don’t complain. Those taxes take care of a lot of our basic needs including our wonderful NHS. Fundamental things we need the NHS will supply. If I broke a tooth the NHS would fix it, if I fractured my wrist you’d put it in a cast, if I couldn’t walk or carry out other basic functions the NHS would investigate and find a solution. There are even stories of the NHS funding boob jobs if the patient is depressed enough. But one basic thing that most people can do naturally you want to take out of easy reach for those who cannot. Why is it a step too far to fund that? Why is that too ‘expensive’ when so many other treatments are not. So if we can’t have children you won’t help. We must pay ourselves, to hell with the pain of infertility, the emptiness, the loss, the grief, pay up or be childless. Money talks.

Is parenthood only for those who can afford it? Or should everyone get a chance. The chance to grow a life, to be Mummy or Daddy”

We all deserve the chance to be parents. Please have your say.